I sure miss Steve tonight. I miss him every day, but sometimes it's more prounounced and emotional like tonight. I watched McCain give his speech and I find myself wondering what Steve would think of all of this. He was so insightful when it came to things like this -- he'd sit back and not say much, but when he did, it was well thought out and introspective.
Bear's been a handful the last few days too and I really miss having Steve here to help. He's pushing my limits to the max lately -- I understand he's had a lot of change with starting a new school, making new friends, being gone last weekend. Part of the problem is me -- I just have no patience lately. I want him to fit inside this little box and do exactly what I say and well, he's 5 -- that isn't going to happen. I'm tired of asking him a question, only to be ignored -- I have to ask 2-3 times before he responds. Then I start yelling and before long, we're at each other. I feel ridiculous and like I'm a horrible mother. I haven't felt good in six weeks and going back to work, even part time, has been hard. I'm not sure how it's going to be next week, full time. The fatigue from the pneumonia has really been tough and I've been taking a 2-3 hour nap every day.
Anyway -- just whining. And missing my husband. I miss his security and just knowing he's here. The house was so alive this weekend and now it's so quiet. I miss the buzz... I think it made me realize just how lonely I am...
No comments:
Post a Comment