January 5th and my first day back to work in the new year... I'm actually feeling very positive about this year -- so much different than the beginning of my last two new years. For the first time since Steve died, I believe I am feeling more hopeful about our future than I am about sadness that Steve isn't here for the ride. I know he'll always be with us -- but I'm really feeling the need to embrace the upcoming year, not live in the past by feeling so sad about Steve that I can't appreciate what I *do* have.
Bear is doing great in school which is a big relief over last year. We need to fine-tune some of his math skills but he's definitely catching on. And he's reading! EVERYTHING! They said when it clicked, it clicked -- and wow -- it's clicking :) I feel like he's finally back -- when Steve died, he stopped for awhile -- but he's definitely coming back.
I think I'm coming back too which feels so good. I am so blessed for the nearly 10 years I had with Steve and I will never, ever lose that. He'll always be a part of me -- always. But I can also move on and move forward, knowing in my heart that Steve would want that for me. He'd want that for Bear. SO -- I'm moving forward without guilt, carrying Steve in my heart every step of the way. This year holds so much promise and so much potential... I'm excited!
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