Waking up to reality

You would think that after 2 years, 1 month and 18 days that I wouldn't wake up on a Saturday morning and roll over to snuggle with my wonderful husband who hasn't been there in 2 years, 1 month and 18 days.

There's much to do today -- need to straighten up the house and get ready for the carpet cleaners to arrive at 11am. I have off-white carpet and it's been 16 months since I've had them clean. They actually look pretty good but after a summer of running around barefoot and in and out, it'll be nice to have them sparkly and clean again. I need to grab the cat carrier from the garage to confine Eliot while they're doing their magic on the carpet, which reminds me -- need to run to Walmart for a new cat box so everything starts fresh and new today. Out with the old....in with the new... Greg comes today to do the yard too -- that always puts me in my happy place; it looks so nice and clean when he's done with it.

I talked with my mother last night who humored me with recent tales of family... My uncle has been seriously ill with pneumonia in both lungs -- in ICU for close to 2 weeks. He can barely breathe, and I have an Aunt that had the audacity to walk in and say "we need to get you out of here and to a pool so you can get in shape." WTF??? Perhaps that conversation would have been better yesterday -- when he finally got OUT of ICU and into his own room. But in ICU, hooked up to everything imagineable, not quite sure you're going to come out? Swimming? Really?

This is the same Aunt who nagged on the peeling paint on the underside of my covered patio last year when she and my mother came to visit. I love my Aunt dearly but there are times that she invokes a lot of WTF looks. She's in her 60's, has never been married, yet can pass judgment like there's no tomorrow. She couldn't say "gee, great job on keeping yourself upright for the last 10 months." No, she had to comment on the two small areas of peeling paint. "Well, you can just scrape it off and repaint it in a day." Obviously spoken by a woman retired since she was 48, never married and without kids. As my mother not-so-eloquently pointed out to her one morning, ease up -- and maybe congratulate her on the fact that she at least has kept the house with the peeling paint (on one income!) and her son is happy and healthy and taken care of! Fuck the paint! Oy.

One thing I'm looking forward to this weekend is tying things up regarding Stepping Stones and Steve's Fund. I can't adequately put into words how proud I am about Steve's Fund. WHO KNEW it'd grow the way it has and that our friends and family have supported it in such a loving way. Steve would be so embarrassed to have his name splashed all over the place -- but he'd be humbled and proud and honored. We're SO CLOSE to the $5,000 goal!

Bear is up -- time to get started with the day.