Calli-Cat

September 14, 1996 - October 24, 2008

Sorry for all of the detail -- this is an entry from my parenting board and I didn't feel like re-typing it for here...

Calli was diagnosed with thyroid cancer about 10 days ago. She hadn't been responding to the medication very well -- should have been a pretty sudden reversal of symptoms but she wasn't eating, wasn't drinking and felt lighter (turns out she'd lost more than a pound since the last vet visit -- and she had gone from about 14 lbs to just under 7 lbs 10 days ago -- to 5.5 today). I brushed her last night, and she was purring but wouldn't let me near her rear end. When I was done, I took a look and she had this NASTY wound to the left of her anus -- I thought she had an anal gland burst but it wasn't part of her anus, just to the left of it. She seemed okay -- but if Steve had been here, and if it hadn't been 11pm with Bear in bed, I would have taken her last night -- but I waited until this morning.

So, we got up and once I found her, I put her in the crate -- wound still looked nasty and she just wasn't herself. (She let me pick her up, which was strange -- she's usually a wild child. Steve didn't call her Psycho Bitch from Hell for nothing My usual vet was closed but they are part of a larger network with a location opened on Sundays so I called there. I explained she'd been dx with hyperthyroidism, wasn't doing well, etc. We made an appt for 12:20. When we got there, I explained her history to the tech. I also explained that I was more worried about her quality of life than the treatments to prolong her life and I wanted to know the whole picture. I also explained that Steve died last year -- not sure why, it just felt like it should be said (turns out to be the right thing). So the vet came in. I absolutely LOVED her. I like the vet I have now -- but we had a phenomenal vet in San Diego and I've missed her SO much.

This one today is as good. She took a look at her wound and when she pulled the scab off, Calli bit me -- not hard, but she took my hand in her mouth and pressed her teeth down. Don't know if she didn't have the strength or she was being nice -- there was a time she would have drawn blood. She pulled the scab off and there was this HUGE -- silver dollar size -- would, just red as can be with blood underneath. It was NOT there a week ago and I'm appalled at how fast it got so big and so nasty. Doc thought that with her being so skinny, and not doing much, it was basically a bad bed sore. We put her down on the floor while we talked and she went and hid behind my chair and didn't move. I talked to the doctor about all of my options. I could have prolonged her life with more medication, subcutaneous fluids under her skin every week, etc. Her thyroid was an issue, but her kidneys were also failing -- they go hand-in-hand. Her eyes were beginning to look sunken, she'd lost more weight, she had the bad breath that comes with kidneys, etc. (With Lil, I called it "death breath" -- it's just so unique).

Anyway -- after much discussion and many tears, I made the hard decision to euthanize her. I asked Bear if he wanted to be there, and he said yes. I quizzed him about WHY he wanted to be there -- he needed to know the seriousness of what was happening. He's had a lot of questions about Steve's death and I decided this would be a good, safe way to show him the peacefulness of death. It was hard -- but I figured not any harder than the last 14 months. I explained this to the vet as well -- what I wanted Bear's experience to be with Calli's death. They came in and gave her a shot to calm her down. We had about 20 minutes to stroke her hair, kiss her nose, talk to her. I explained to Bear some more about what would happen and told him not to be afraid -- it was okay and it would be quick. When the vet came in, she was absolutely incredible with Bear. She explained what would happen, that she had some special medicine that was going to help Calli get to Heaven. She gave her the shot, Calli stopped breathing and the vet put her stethoscope on and said "oh! I think she made it to Heaven!" She gave him the stethoscope and said "here, YOU listen..." She asked if he heard anything, and he said no. She said "that's right, she's already in Heaven with your Daddy..." Bear smiled, I cried, and I could have hugged the vet right there. I can't tell you how perfect she made the situation. They took her away and I'm having her cremated. I told Bear that she would be turned into sand the same way Daddy was -- and she'd come back in a small box too.

It was so hard -- I've had Calli since she was just a few weeks old in 1996 and before I ever met Steve. I keep smiling at the way she'd always take over my glass of milk -- if I left for a minute, she'd "own it" by sticking her paw into it, licking the milk off of her paw and dunking it back in. She absolutely loved bananas and cantaloupe. She'd purr like a freight train. She was a sweet, sweet kitty...